There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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