I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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