Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
