sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
