she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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