I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You made out with two different species that night
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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