I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
