whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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