You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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