So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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