I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
