Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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