I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
