Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
