he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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