I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
