Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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