let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
