does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
