I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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