is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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