I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
