Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
