is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
