It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
