Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize