how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
