You made me cry and you don't even care
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
