She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
