can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Randomize
