Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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