she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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