and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
