ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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