Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
