i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
