fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
