Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
She announced her abortion via fbk
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
