Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
