Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
