Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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