You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
