She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
