i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
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