is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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