Need sex. Gaining weight.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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