I cockslap morals
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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