what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
