so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
