Kiss
Puke
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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