erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
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