Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
