All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
