There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
