bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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