you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
