The brown eye won't let me do that either.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
