just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Randomize
