I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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