Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize