How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
