new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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