my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
