but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
