i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
