Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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