There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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