dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
