I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
