I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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