I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
