New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
