the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
