cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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