Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
