4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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