did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
