I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
