you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
