I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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