We won't sleep together?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
